[slimegargoyle]

the aquarium said you are NOTHING compared to an eel

[radiohead2]

[txttletale]

[nat-20s]

HUGE shout out to purple for being the only color that has like no losers. Deep purple royal purple bluish purple redish purple pastel purple dusty purple lavender periwinkle violet like. Banger after banger after banger!!

[cats-and-cacti]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[lagtim3]

@fandomlife-confessions 

Fact! Uteruses come prepackaged with half a lifetime’s supply of eggs. Balls produce sperm on-demand. This means there would have been about a two-month period where Jacob found himself inexplicably VERY gay for Edward.

[sniddies-snake-tiddies]

wait I thought Stephanie Meyers made it canon that Edward can’t produce new sperm and the warm water of the ocean warmed up his sac enough for him to impregnate Bella.

So in all Jacob should’ve been gay for Edward all along

[eroticcannibal]

The warm water of the ocean did what now

[tooies]

i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

[funeralprocessor]

ancestral form of touch grass

[herbgerblin]

i jumped out of bed in a cold sweat to make this

id: first image is the tumblr halloween icon, which depicts a skeleton-like ghoul in a spooky red robe. the second image is the same ghoul, now photoshopped to look like they're dabbing. end id

[wearewatcher]

What Shane said

[funnytwittertweets]

[ar1deo]

american psycho x mean girls